Your dad touched me again.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
