Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it hurts more in the daytime
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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