i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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