my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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