okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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