You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
