She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You made out with two different species that night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
