this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
