this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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