just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
