perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
