2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
