is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
