Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
