He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
