when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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