Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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