Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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