and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
