just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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