i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
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his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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