Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
