His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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