if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
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Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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