I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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