It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
