We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
