seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
