I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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