So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
