So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Text me some of your sweat
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
