I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
