I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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