I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
