yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
operation have a gay friend backfired
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
