I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
