She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
