i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
