One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
