Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
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So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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