Betty ford says i'm here all night
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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