I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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