Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
