Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Non-Jews are for practice
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
ttyl tear gas
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
