And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My vagina is officially offended.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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