oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
