i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
