Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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