She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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