i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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