after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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