He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
