I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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