There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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