A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
